Ever wondered why is it that you ‘like’ or ‘dislike’ a person when you meet them for the first time? It’s actually about the connection you feel in the first go. Good news- You can practice to be ‘liked’ in the first meeting. Bad News- You can’t quite achieve this unless you completelybelieve me.
I always wondered why does it takes me 3-4 meetings with the same person to build a positive connection. I am slightly reserved and I tend to keep to myself when it comes to expressing my opinions in the first few meetings. So while it is true that I cant quite change my attitude as a person, I realized I was a step behind in doing a few other things!
Step One: Observe.
I wasn’t quite observant of the other person’s body language. A person’s body language in a particular situation is like a Report Card. It tells you whether you are doing well or screwing it up. Is he repeatedly looking at his watch or cell? Is he looking beyond you or ‘looking’ disinterested? Or is he looking at you in the eye and waiting to ask more questions? This Report Card will help you assess the current situation so that you can re-strategize to pitch your point. It does take a lot of practice to accurately read a person’s body language. As I started to be more observant, I started to face another problem.
Step Two: Concentrate.
I was unable to concentrate on what the person is saying. Ok, agreed that he may be talking about how he discovered oil reserves in the Arctic Ocean but c’mon do you want to be associated with this person or not!? To be able to build a positive connection, you need to be able to wholeheartedly be engrossed in what the other person is saying. Not “appear” to be engrossed but really be engrossed. Otherwise, mind you, the other person does know how to read Your body language if you “appear” to be interested!
Step Three: Read up.
Okay so you have started to observe AND to be engrossed in the other person. I am sure you will face this last problem- the awkward pause in between your conversation when you don’t quite know what to talk or how to ease the communication. This last step is quite important to ‘Strike’ that connection!
One way to solve this problem is to read up on the person’s profile. With so much data available online, that it is almost impossible to not find some useful information about the person. Does his linkedin profile mention him to be banker or a writer? Is he part of a sports community or maybe a travel club? Did you find a crazy drunken video of him singing away to glory? There are numerous valid and safe conclusions you could draw about the person’s personality from this kind information. Using these conclusions, you will be able to fill those awkward pauses with a meaningful conversation that he can relate to almost completely!
Food for thought: Our journey of life is all about the people whom we meet and the experiences that we build on. One thing that always works is ” Speaking from the heart!” When you think that nothing seems to be working or everything seems to be going wrong, just speak from the heart. Each one of us has the capacity to catch authenticity! Call it intuition or simply the experience to distinguish the good from the bad.
People are everywhere. Will you choose to strike connections and build positive relationships to enrich your journey of life?