“Why don’t you talk?”
“Why are you so silent?”
These are the questions I face when I meet new people or many case even my friends. I don’t prefer talking,I always prefer listening because that way you learn more.
I haven’t been this kind of person from the very beginning. Whenever I tried to share something or talk I always found that people weren’t ready to listen or would rudely ignore or sometimes wouldn’t give me an inappropriate response. They never listen they hear me. This put me off many times and I regretted sharing it with others. It wasn’t that I never had anyone to listen to, I did. But mainly I observed that most of them were bad listeners or were victims of selective hearing syndrome. If you observe most of people want to express themselves, talk it out or boast about to others but never are ready to listen to others. In fact there are some who are so used to others listening to them that it’s a task for them to become the listener.
So over time, I’ve just stopped sharing my thoughts or feelings. I’ve trained myself to become a good listener , I’ve become the kind of listener I’d want to listen to my stories. Also a good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he/she knows something. It wasn’t a tough job to be a good listener but I wonder why others find it so difficult to pay attention to what one’s speaking.
I enjoy listening when people share their stories, experiences, thoughts, ideas and views. It allows me to know new perspectives and I listen non-judgementally which helps create feeling of goodwill in intimate and professional relationships. But a negative aspect of this habit of mine is that, in the process of becoming a listener I’ve become a pro in hiding my thoughts and feelings and not sharing it with anyone.
I keep things to myself and it’s a monstrous task for me to talk about how I feel or my experiences because I’ve already pre-defined in my mind that there will be lack of listeners to my talk. If at all I go ahead and take the risk of expressing myself I see no favourable response.
I have no regrets, I’d rather be a good listener and make others happy than a speaker with no listeners. I feel that one of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say. Also nothing I say will teach me anything, so if I have to learn I must do it by listening.