My Expressions

I am with her

My
eyes shuttered up with a henny alarm about to swoon after a long deadly innings.
Reluctant to take off the blanket I played with my pillow fidgeting all over my
bed. Finally my mom started her daily morning mantra trying to wake me up. She
succeeded in doing so. I got off my bed and walked like a sleep starved Zombie,
though I’m a In-form sleeper who sleeps no less than 12 hrs, day and night
inclusive.

I got freshened up and stood before the mirror checking out myself if any new
pimple popped out of my rather beautiful face, or my biceps went down by a
millimeter , or my tummy increased in size; and to my fear I saw a pimple small
in size looking to make it big, appear on left cheek. I cursed, “you ugly
pimple didn’t find anyone other than me..you”
.

Pimple smirking with a smiley like face, in reply said, “yes Idiot I didn’t
find anyone.. now what”.

“Gosh! was that real or was I day dreaming. Even pimple is berating me. What
the”, I blurted.

Before deciding if it was illusion or real, I heard my Mom’s voice.

“Arun!  Come for breakfast.”

Putting the pimple episode aside, wondering what special might be there to calm
my stomach rumbles, I sat gingerly on chair waiting for delicacies to be
devoured. After sometime exiting my long wait though a shorter one, my mom
appeared with some hot parotas still fuming out. I saw mom with a sense of
courtesy and in reply she gave me a “you are  good for nothing” look.
I saw it as some add-on to my breakfast and had it along with the latter, as I
got used to it.

After sumptuous breakfast, burping I started walking towards my room and
suddenly I got a glimpse of filmstars in newspaper, on the table.

I caught hold of the film edition and sat on the chair opposite to the sofa, on
which my dad was sitting.

I shyly said, “Good morning! Papa”.

For which he replied with our Prime minister, Manmohan Singh’s photo on the
first page of main edition of the newspaper, opening the folded main edition
swiftly which gave a “cluckkk” sound.

After a few seconds, he brought down the newspaper to his chest height
(previously, it was facing his face) and was looking at me as if he was seeing
Aishwarya rai  sitting at his arm’s length, his eyes wide open. To
avert his stare I quickly shifted my focus on to Aishwarya on newspaper and
wondered, “how lucky Abhishek might be”; however the conscious part of me could
sense his stern stare on me getting more sterner.

“Oh! not again”, I mumbled.

Wanna know the reason for my “Oh! not again”? then let’s go back a day.

“You Idiot, duffer @#$%^&* you see that Gabbar singh, learn something from
him. What a gem he is!”

You might be wondering what’s there to learn from Gabbar Singh, the famous and
notorious villain of Sholay. Killing, smuggling, larceny, abduction- Yank your
illusion. Nothing of that sort, but this gabbar I’m gonna tell you about did
more damage to me in terms of self respect though not much directly but through
my father. I didn’t envy him as I knew I was better than him, and neither did I
mug up like him and deviate others from studying to achieve top marks. I am and
was an average student and happy being what I’m. The only difference being he
got an offer to work for a Big MNC and I didn’t get. And that didn’t matter to
me as I always aspired to become a writer and my parents disapproved it.

Gabbar singh, a bespectacled boy in my neighborhood. A geek, a nerd, a guy
who doesn’t literally know anything but what is in his textbooks. I don’t like
him and neither does he like me. I often wonder how he got his name. His father
must be crazy or a big fan of Gabbar singh of sholay. Even a diehard fan of
Gabbar Singh wouldn’t give his son such a name, I thought. I’m sure even Gabbar
Jr. would be cursing his father, though not openly, for giving such a name.
Nevertheless Gabbar Sr. was villain of Sholay and this Gabbar Jr. in my
neighborhood, the current villain of my life, whom my dad constantly compares
me with.

“Are
you lost”, my dad exclaimed in disgust, “Are you listening?….”.

This continued till sometime and some part of it was dragged till dinner
accompanying me with roti and sabzi . My dad was recollecting all the
superlatives to describe this gabbar and I was recollecting all the opposites
to describe this little idiot.

___________(A
day after, the current day we’re in)

“Oh! not again”, I mumbled.

Pulling my eyes off that of my father’s fearing he would start it again, I got
up and quickly strolled out to balcony and took a deep breath with a sigh of
relief.

Vehicles
honking, water dripping out of a tap, a child bidding bye to his dad while
leaving for school, two ladies fighting over a bucket of water, a lady haggling
over 2rs with the grocer, a pedestrian cursing the car driver for spilling
sludge on him by overspeeding car beside him.

“Oh! city is bustling as ever”, I thought.

Suddenly pushing everything into silence, a beautiful girl appeared on the
street from nowhere.

“Who’s this girl?”, I asked myself. I didn’t see her anytime here before. She
looked like a fairy landed from outer space just for me. A man walking beside
her might have thought the same way as I. Trying to hit on her, he took his
chances by moving so closely to her and told her something I couldn’t hear.

Was that “I love you” or did he ask her out directly, my mind went on racing to
find all the possible questions a guy would ask a beautiful girl.

But once the girl uttered something, he was utterly stunned.

I was sure it wasn’t a bad word as I could read her face, which was calm and
smiling. “But what is that word that left the guy stunning”, I asked myself.

Whatsoever, I felt this girl was wonderful.

She’s got a flowing golden mane, beautiful hazelled eyes with glint, round face
and a sculpted body.

The way she walked would transit any man into fantasy. She looked like a
vision.

I
felt if this is what is called “Love at first sight”.

“Okay Arun! There is your girl, she’s born only for you. Go for her”, I told to
myself.

I
readied myself to face any consequence this just born love would force me to. I
already started thinking what if her or my parents don’t accept our love. All
such questions were running through my mind, even before I proposed her.

She was standing under a tree waiting for something or someone, might be a bus
I thought. From what she looked like I was sure she’s a college girl.

I quickly dressed up well, put on some “Axe” on me thinking if “Axe
effect” could help me out, as shown in the advertisement. Though not as shown
in the advertisement where all the girls fall for a single man, I was asking
only for one girl.

I came down to my garage quickly, undusted my Karizma, kick-started (though
there was an auto-start, I felt the macho in me felt like kick starting) it and
revved up to the place and stopped at some feet away from her.

She looked even more bright and beautiful from near. Shades of sunlight through
the leaves of mango tree, was dancing on her face, illuminating her already
shining face.

I
parked my bike aside and walked towards her. I felt my heart thump as I was
closing in on her. I could hear my heart beat, “Dhud Dhud..”.

I stopped beside her. I prayed God, chanted some mantras to pacify him. I don’t
remember last time I prayed. Finally I summoned all the courage and said “I
love you”.

This
word “Love” must have got sick to come out of my mouth once again, I thought.

She
looked at me with awe and replied, “Aaaww! you’re so cute”.

I felt someone had swept me off my feet and suddenly I felt I was flying in air
with joy.

“But..”,
mumbled she.

I felt like a pierced balloon falling off from sky with that “but”.

This word “But”, I feel is the fearsome word in English, which pulls apart
everything which till the very last second seem together.

I was worried, afraid and anxious what this “But” is gonna do to me this time.

“But what”, I said with a trembling voice and a worried look on my face.

“You see that girl”, said she pointing towards another girl who wasn’t that
good as her.

“Yes”,
I said with a sigh of relief as she was pointing towards a girl, not a boy. She
might be her cousin, my blinked. I thought if she’s worried if this girl
(cousin) sees her with me and informs the same to her parents. But I was wrong.

I flinched as her reply hit my ears. Everything I dreamt of was suddenly down
to rubble. I couldn’t believe what I heard. I was still making myself sure if
it’s a hallucination.

She said, “I’m sorry. I am with her”.

 

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ashritk

ashritk

:):)