The night that follows the darkness is usual. But the night that follows hollowness is killing. I can still feel every ounce of what was drained out of my entire being that night. The night when I was surrounded by the nightmares of me being totally pissed off by numerous Draculas. They proved to me that I am nothing more than a dumb ass. Because it sucks when you are someone’s second choice, it kicks the human out of you when you realize that you are no more than a liar to your parents and an entertaining foolish clown for your so called friends.
I was crying. My friends were hardly bothered. Yeah exactly! Why would they be even? I wanted to say sorry to me because I had burdened myself with the bullshit. The crap that would never benefit me was the major priority of my life that night. My pillow and I were totally drenched in tears. I told him “I am done”, I felt he said, “Yes dear, but couldn’t help”. Over thinking of heart break, not caring, scared, assumed, nervous; number of feelings assassinated me every second. I could have written thousands of pages about what I was feeling. I was crying myself bitterly to sleep.
Suddenly a girl in me gave a voice, “Hello. Why are you so sad darling? It’s OK. It’s life. Whatever is happening to you happens to almost every person with different and even worse causes. You have to understand that whatever is happening is because of a good cause. Oh! Lord’s daughter don’t curse yourself, don’t blame yourself for what is already destined. You have to stay strong, you have been chosen to face difficulties and learn from them. God has made two kinds of people. One who learn sfrom when others burn their hands, and the other who learn by burning their own hands. Be proud that you are one of HIS kinds. Don’t upset yourself. Everything will soon be smooth, but again it won’t be constant. Again someday you would feel depressed. But it’s all nature my dear. Nothing is permanent except change. Let things happen the way they want to. Don’t control them. Just control yourself. Love yourself. And that’s it. Don’t regret your past. Don’t worry for the future. Just live in the present which is all yours. You should be that much strong to move on from anything that hurts you or serves you no more, no matter what! Live your life to the fullest working on the sins you did but don’t regret so much that you get drowned in your tears. All will get aligned one day. It’s just a matter of a smile. “
I opened my eyes and it was 5 a.m. in the morning. My roommates asked me, “What’s wrong?” It was difficult to answer as nothing was right. While I was brushing my teeth I looked up at myself and realized I know the answer to every question I was wondering here and there. It’s within me. It’s just me who can cheer up myself, it’s me who can handle every situation, it’s me who can work on my mistakes and it’s just me who can stand up for me.
I gave myself a flying kiss and walked to my room, full of enthusiasm of putting everything back on its path as it is supposed to be.
Live life KING SIZE as it’s just ONE.