Congratulations for facing Quarter Life or a Mid-twenties Crisis
Guneet passed out college, got a job, and began his life outside the comforts of college life. Nihar, his college buddy was still struggling for a job and a secure life. There were days he envied Guneet’s life, and his success. His parents constantly compared him to Guneet, and Nihar lived a life of constant pressure of his underperformance. He was also going through a depression because his girlfriend had secured a job, and had begun dating one of her colleagues, after breaking-up with him. Nihar felt lonely, lost and a complete loser. Meanwhile Guneet, who was self-dependent now, should have been happy. Surprisingly he wasn’t! He used to be an extremely meritorious student in academics, did slightly above average in sports and extra-curricular. Securing a job was a smooth sail for him. However everything and everybody around him had changed after he passed college. His parents had suddenly begun expecting him to grow responsible overnight, manage and invest his money well. His boss had no regards for his excellent academic record and his good nature. Instead he always seemed to be too eager to scold him for missing any deadlines, and shower extra affection on another employee, who by Guneet’s standards was hideous, cheat and a liar. Above everything he did not even like his job. He terribly missed those days of college life, when everybody around him considered him to be dynamic and was assured of his supreme success.
Guneet and Nihar are going through a similar phase in their lives. This is specifically termed as a phase of quarter life crisis. It is a passing phase in everybody’s lives. Life before mid-twenties is mostly about living upto your parents expectations, excelling in grades and sports, practicing your moral science lessons in real life, friends, college sweethearts and crushes, wearing a cool pair of jeans, getting the latest gadget, hanging around with buddies etc etc. But things change a lot after your entry in a corporate world, or so to say into a serious money making world. They say it’s a big bad world out there and you have been preparing yourself for quite a lot of time for this situation. But eventually it turns out to be a real bad world, and you feel lost. You realize people you had spent your yesteryears with, were probably not the greatest of all kinds, but definitely the most honest and most reliable. They knew what love and friendship meant. You begin doubting your abilities to cope up with everything, and keep living in memories of yonder times. You don’t know if you would like to continue with your current job all through your life, because you hate it. You were too excited to make your own mark in the world, but think world is too populated a place to leave any mark. You need somebody to love you unconditionally, and stay with you forever, and apparently you find two or more people filling your requirements for eternal love. You are baffled to be in love with more than one person at a time, importantly because you held your values dearest. You get constant creative urges to satisfy your mind and heart by doing something worthwhile, but you cannot assure yourself to take that creative urge seriously.
Congratulations! We have good news for you.
It is a critical phase, and if you survive it in correct fashion, you will come out as a real winner in life! Not everybody realizes how crucial can this confusion be, to shape up the real you in coming years. These are the years when people look for their real calling, and lucky ones who find it, go ahead and become achievers. The ones who do not address this situation properly are the ones who have the tendency to go with the herd, be the follower, and sadly remain confused throughout the life.
The first step to be out of this situation is to accept that you are facing this! You have to accept that you have everything you wanted as a teenager, like money, clothes, gadgets, and still you are unhappy. You feel incomplete. Once you have accepted this situation, the next step would be finding your real calling. And you have to tread this line extremely carefully. You need to ask yourself what is that you want. And very honestly. Without any external influence, and let no social, economic pressure dominate you. With a very clear head, you should ask yourself the question, what do you want? It doesn’t matters if your elder sibling is earning like a millionaire, or if your friend is doing well in commercial advertisements, or if your neighborhood buddy is having a gala time being a fashion photographer. You need an honest self-assessment. You need to accept your shortcomings along with acknowledging your strengths. You need to develop a vision as to where would you like to see yourself in coming twenty to twenty five years. Money should usually be not kept as a priority. You should understand that money is just a means to a quality life, and not the aim. Your priorities should be a good health, a good career- where you enjoy going to work every day, and love.
Let us focus on career. And I cannot help you here. Nobody can. You have to analyze your interests, your passion, your zeal, talk to experts in that field and chalk out a long term plan for it. Maximum plans fail. Do not worry. Every failure makes you learn more about what you want exactly. Just keep going and be strong. Like if you are aiming to be a good website developer, then a failed attempt will make you realize latest technologies in the market, where you fall short and where you excel. It doesn’t matters if the world speeds past by you. Always remember, you are unique and you will remain unhappy till you find real calling in your life.
When it comes to love, I have to tell you that you need to trust the universe to direct the correct person to you. If you have special attraction towards any one, give that attraction enough time to develop. See if that person’s long term goals match yours, and if this is not the case then what level of adjustments you guys are ready to make to accommodate each other. In the end its love which wins over all calculations. So not many advises here J
All this might take a couple of years or more. However trust me you would be a happier person and would pride yourself at your decisions in long run. As Mark Twain said :- “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why��. Just keep thinking!