Have you tried a long distance before?

After having read Chetan Bhagat’s novel “Two States” and having watched the movie adapted from it, I began to think how the title could have so many different meanings. At first I thought of it as a story based on long distance relationships. Coming to talk of long distance relationships, each of us must have often heard how they are so difficult to maintain, people are not able to withstand quarrels, insecurities are on the rise, partners become suspicious of each and every thing the other does so on and so forth. We hear such statements from a friend’s past experience, or perhaps a sibling’s broken trust or maybe even one’s own experience. And humans being the most sensitive of the mammals begin to fear. We fear whether something like this will be repeated. We fear that we will regret it for life. We fear how we will not have the ability to bear the consequences. And ultimately this fear mars our faith in love, faith in ourselves.

In most cases, long distance relationships happen as a continuity of the existing relationship. Maybe you get placed in different states, a new job, parents’ transfer, shifting homes, any of these many reasons. And is it just because of that very fear I mentioned earlier, you are ready to give up the moments of happiness you have spent with your partner. Aren’t those memorable times worth a try from your end to make this relationship work? Is giving up on what you had so simple? The answer should be a no. However in most cases the fear takes over your heart. There are very few who face it with courage and optimistically look forward into the future.

Long distances can mean two different countries, states or merely even two different cities or towns. However small or big the distance may be, it should not have a condescending hold over your hope for the future. Always think of the worst that may happen. The long distance wouldn’t work out and you would end up in a massive breakdown. Then try and analyze now that are you that weak that you would let a relationship affect yourself so much. And if that is what you fear, then wouldn’t ending the relationship now and not attempting a long distance cause more pain and regret. Don’t you fear your pessimism?

Even if you start off long distance, what’s the harm. Love cannot be confined within boundaries. One’s physical presence has got nothing to do with love. If late Meera could love Lord Krishna when he didn’t even exist in this world, then are we that feeble that we can’t love across distance? Love has a lot of power. It comes with respect for one another, care, emotion and expression. In fact being in a long distance makes you closer. You tend to miss your partner even more, you care for their well being, you wish for each other to be happy keeping aside any worldly pleasures or gains from the other. Your love grows stronger. Think of a long distance relationship this way the next time, or always remember you will be losing out on your prospective prince charming.

Damini Naidu

technology enthusiast, trained bharatnatyam dancer, past-time philosophical writer, movie buff

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