How Does It Feel?

How Does it Feel …

To Know that you are responsible for your own feeling of loneliness?

To realize after so long that someone had always meant a lot more to you than you had meant for that person?

To have to accept that a person will never trust you no matter how much you show that you care?

To be humbled by the knowledge that so few of us will ever make a worthwhile difference to the world…and the rest of us are just living to survive?

To realize when you look at the big picture or from another person’s point of view that you were never as important as people told you you were?

When you find out someone lied to you to protect you from getting hurt?

When you watch your dream go further and further away from the chances of becoming reality until you are forced to compromise your dream for one where your goal is just to exist in this world?

To have to lie to an innocent and trusting person, who has never done you any wrong, on the face…

When you give everything you have to save a person but he/she still goes out of reach?

When your best friends achieve what you had always wanted to, without a fraction of the efforts you had put into it?

When a casual friend knows better than your best friends what qualities in yourself you are proud of the most?

To watch a person pass away in front of your eyes and not be able to do anything about it?

When a child’s legs are amputated and he will never have the chance for a normal life, because you did not have the discipline to keep away from alcohol before driving?


To patrol during those long night-shift hours and miss out on the chance to have a normal life with others, because a random thief is not interested in finding an honest job…

To have to kill the pleading, defenseless enemy-soldier because your country told you to…

To have to work in a sewage dump to save the city from clogging (whose people do not ever give a thought about your nauseating job), while you yourself live in a slum miles away…

To have to accept a bribe to save your family, causing a million poor people to lose all the money they were entitled to…

To have to walk to your own death, to save a billion people who will never know about your sacrifice and continue to waste their lives…

Ray Mathew

Quiet, thinking chap hanging around in the background. Desperate to make some changes in the world in any tiny way possible.

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