I am a Woman, STOP telling me that-

I am a Woman- DON’T tell me that-

1-    I need to get a degree and then a get a money making job- to empower myself. I know that. And I also know that education and job are just and excuse-my empowerment doesn’t even matter. All you want is a product for the marriage market. Education and job are required to give an edge over the others and make me multitasking robot for the groom (and his family). No, I am not getting an education for that. I am doing so because I love learning and have the same curiosity as everyone else does-to know whatever there is to know in this world.

And there is this tiny request that I have, for the entire youth oriented channels- kindly stop portraying girls second in intelligence to boys who suffer from acute attitude problems.

2-    I need to slim down/gain weight/become fairer – just to fit in the beauty meter set down by the society.

What is more- will the media stop telling me to remind myself constantly that I AM BEAUTIFUL even though I do not satisfy the ‘right proportions’ laid down by the consummerist society? By telling myself that I am beautiful, I don’t want to join them. And does that mean that to feel confident and worthy- one needs to be ‘beautiful’? Isn’t this a discrimination against ugliness- a repulsion towards it? What if I accept that I am not aesthetically pleasing? What is WRONG in being ugly? My only point is that one doesn’t need these parameters to feel good. Calling oneself beautiful is in a way indirectly subscribing to the views of society. I know that being fat (or dark) and then being bullied by the entire sect of skinny people ( and fair) –not to forget our good neighbours and relatives- that feels as if life is not worth living. But then paying a lot of attention towards these shallow issues is actually giving importance to the opinion of all these people. ‘Dark is beautiful’- is replacing- ‘fair is beautiful’. I know the intentions are noble but I think that it is actually replacing one tyrant with another.

3-    I need to learn to cook and learn household chores. That is the single most repeated line in any girl’s life. Okay, knowing how to cook and maintaining the house is a must know- but it shouldn’t be just for girls. For Bog’s sake- it is a life skill and everyone needs to know them to survive. For e.g. I don’t like cooking, then why should I be forced to be a master in it! There are people, from BOTH the sexes, who like to cook- then let them. It is not my cup of tea, especially if this tea is going to make me lawfully wedded to someone.

4-    I ought to look attractive and like pink and all the shiny objects. Oh yes, be sexy as well. Dude for many women, unsexy is the new sexy. Of course there some women who have a marvellous sense of fashion, but dear, I am not one of them. I can’t wear a pink tank top matching with my tight Lycra pants and click clacking in high heels. Jeez, that’s really uncomfortable (for me at least). I sincerely salute those women who can carry these things on themselves for an entire day. As for me, I am happy with my argyle collection and baggy sweatshirts.

5-    I am a princess in need of protection. If I am not a princess, then either I am a ‘dumb blonde’ (a phrase that I highly object to) or I am that studious girl who doesn’t like to party (oh wait, that bit is actually right). If not these- then I am definitely a ‘rich bitch’. Stereotyping much? Dude and society- I am not an exception to Evolution- I have my own pair of hands, legs and a brain that functions. Surprised? Don’t be- please keep your chivalry to yourself because women can carry their own luggage. When we want help- we’ll ask for it.

6-    You have brought me up like a boy. I know that the world is most of the times bad and that boys are given privileges- bringing me up like them was very brave of you. But a child is a child- why is there a distinction between them? Just raise a child like a child, what’s the sex of the child got to do with it?

7-    I can’t remain single for the rest of my life. That I need to settle down and for that- I need to be an ideal ‘somebody’ who is educated, knows how to cook (both points already discuss) and IS religious. So here’s the deal- I’ll get married when I want to and that will happen when I am bored of being single. Our society attaches so many stigmas to a single woman- like they are some kind of a radioactive element. The thing is that we suffer from this problem of intruding in others privacy. Why can’t an individual’s decision be just his/her? It’s not just for women but for both the sexes. Marriage is THE event of life (don’t ask me why and how) and I am not saying that it is unimportant. But making it the top most priority- nah, never. Seriously, I have my own aims- travelling, working and hoards of other things- and believe me, marriage and kids don’t even feature in it.

I know this is a lot of angry ‘ranting’ but it had to be done.And the list is actually incomplete- there are millions of things that we as women are supposed to be. Already we are the sisters/mothers/daughters to the entire nation- and believe it or not -that is tiring. People can’t think of us as living beings unless we are in some kind of relationship with them. I am sure even men must be constantly nagged about getting a good job and get married to a ‘’susheel kanya’’ (you can’t marry a ‘bitch’- Bollywood has taught you that much). What triggered me write this down is the whole lot of youth movies and shows that have suddenly flooded the idiot box. As highly unrealistic as they are- they sound pompous and fake when they take up youth issues. In one of the shows, there was this obese girl who went on a diet and hence, had to be hospitalised. The catch is what her elder sister tells her- that we are just fat and not handicapped. Really? Being fat is okay but being a differently abled person is not? This is just one instance. The stereotyping of women into a ‘bechaari’ who is always teary eyed. Come on, every human has a tear gland and we all cried when we saw the movie ‘Hachiko’. It doesn’t make one more feminine or less masculine. And the ‘westernised’ girl only good for a fling but not for commitment while the guy himself is the biggest dope you’ll ever see- this is all there and the worst thing about it, they keep repeating this stuff that turns all these crappy lies into a truth, a gospel.

Deeksha Yadav

A literature kid.

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